[intro music]

CHARLOTTE EARP: Hi. My name is Charlotte, and I'm in Year 8 at Canterbury Girls High School. This is my monologue entitled 'Test That Query.'

CHARLOTTE EARP AS MITCH MICHAEL: Hi. I'm Mitch Michael. You may know me from my podcast, 'Celebrity is as Celebrity Does,' or my exclusive documentary, 'Mitch Michael: The Face Behind the Name.' Or, of course, you know me for the countless films and tv shows that have starred none other than myself. Ha. But today, we're here for our weekly dose of 'Test! That! Query!' For those of you who are new to the show, 'Test! That! Query!' the show that knows everything about, well, everything. Whether you have a question about Quokkas or a curiosity about cab drivers, this is the show for you.

So let's begin. Our first query is from a viewer named Aaron, who asked-- sorry about that. I think we're having some technical difficulty. Hello? And we're back. Well, I suppose we'll just have to keep on going, and hope it-- not the lights as well. Terribly sorry about that, viewers. I think we'll have to get back to Aaron's query about watermelons after this quick ad break. Don't go anywhere.

Sandra, what was that? What do you think you're playing at, trying to make me look stupid on national tv? The coffee? This is about the coffee? Sandra, look. Me putting bugs in your coffee this morning was a joke. You'll find it can be quite funny sometimes. No. You don't have to keep messing with the microphones. I'll do anything. Fine. Put me back on air.

And we're back. Before we get back to it, I'd like to make a quick shout-out to Sandra, who deserves an apology. Sandra, I'm s-sorry. Well, I suppose that's all we have time for tonight. I'll see you next week on 'Test! That! Query!'