[intro music]

LLOYD STIVALA: Hi. I'm Lloyd Stivala in Year 5 at Summerhill Public School. This is the monologue I wrote entitled Dr Dropsalot. I really hope you enjoy it. N-- next p-- patient please. Oh, hello, sir. I'm D-- Dr Dropsalot. As you can see, there is my medical degree on the wall. I-- I got 51 out of 100. Just a pass. I-- I hope. Anyhoo, here is your needle. Whoops. Not my arm, yours. Sorry about that.

Ah, now, moving on to my next patient. Ah, h-- hello, Mr Bubble Bottom. J-- just l-- letting you know that you should die soon. Right, now, tell patient-- tick. Now, time to go home. Oh, h-- how strange. The door's locked. L-- luckily I have my spare keys. Not that one. Not that one. And not that one either. Oh, I left the key in the car! I-- I-- I'm trapped in a room full of dead people at-- at 1:27 AM. Help!

Wait, n-- no. I'm 44 and I haven't done a-- a-- a-- anything with my life except collecting stamps. I-- I need to save a life. Here. Ha-- ha-- hang on. H-- how do I do that? Um, what's that up there? Ah, eeny, meeny, miny, mo? I-- I feel a heartbeat! Or is that just my shaking hands?